Give Me Also Springs of Water

I have been sitting in my living room, sorting through journals and scraps of paper upon which are written many “great and precious promises.” I am wondering what has become of the girl who collected them. For, I have been struggling lately to reconcile my circumstances with what I am convinced that God is speaking to my heart. Almost to the point of Sarah’s incredulous laughter.

You see, it’s been awhile since I saw a miracle. I know I’ve seen the everyday faithfulness of God. Money still comes when I have a need. Just the right doctors are there at just the right time. I am safe, protected, surrounded by blessings. But what I am in the middle of now, requires a miracle that can only be recognized as such. It is a need that God alone can meet. And that voice that says “Can God prepare a table in the wilderness?” is loud and persistent.

But, I have faced times like these before. I have it written in these journals and notebooks before me. I have a reminder of the day I sat at the foot of my bed weeping over Isaiah 41:10 as the time to leave for college loomed closer and closer. I had no money, no job, and too few clothes. Circumstances were against me. But didn’t He come through! I have a prayer of thanks for a time that He sent a friend to show me the way out of a bad decision that was clinging to me like a shadow. I have the memory of migraines disappearing after one prayer of faith, never to return. I have spades of evidence that God hears me and comes through.

I suppose part of my struggle is in wanting to accept whatever God has planned for me. Because I know that growth comes from trials, I do not want to miss what might be God’s way of building my faith or pruning out things that hinder my walk with Him. Nor do I want to spend my time in a desert place moping and complaining. Dying in the wilderness, when a land chock-full of milk and honey is just an attitude adjustment away, is not the way I want to go. While I long for deliverance, I do not want to be guilty of overlooking what God has already done on my behalf.

While on my journey aboard this train on thought, I began to think of Achsah. She was a girl who was not content with dwelling in a desert. Upon her marriage to Othniel, she had been given a piece of southern land by her father, Caleb. Though the Bible doesn’t specify what type of land this was, commentators say that the southern land was a dry desert-like region. I suppose this land could have provided them a sufficient living. But I think it would have been back-breaking work. And Achsah knew it. She also knew that her father owned springs of water and would provide them if she asked. When Caleb heard her request, he didn’t rebuke her for being ungrateful, he simply gave her what she asked. Springs of water! To change a land that could provide life into a land that could provide abundant life.

Just now, I do feel as though I am dwelling in a desert land. I do not forget those blessings with which He daily loadeth me. I thank God for my job, my doctors, my opportunities to minister. But I’ve a yen for springs of water. For green growing things. For healing and promises kept. While I desire to accept with grace His will for my life, my health, and my circumstances, I do not want to forget that the desert is not all there is. I do not want to “have not because I ask not,” and I have not been asking.

Somewhere, in these old journal pages, is the girl that refused to accept circumstances over faith. She would have been face down on the altar surrounded by her “vessels not a few” saying “Give me also springs of water.” And as I roll it over in my mind, I find it fitting my need very well. I shall dust off my “vessels not a few” and once more leave them out all over the place where I shall trip over them everywhere I turn. For falling on grace never has hurt me.