Wiley Coyote and Meek, Quiet Spirits.

Wherein my writing reflects who I want to be more than who I actually am.

I am lying on my stomach on a quilt, with Wiley Coyote chasing Roadrunner in the background, while I cough and contemplate the value of a meek and quiet spirit. The irony is not lost on me, for it is that part of me that wants to drop an anvil on someone with which I struggle. The part of me that wants to cling to it’s right to be offended.

(I have also just killed a beetle that was guilty of nothing more than being a beetle. And looking like the type of beetle that might crawl into my nose while I sleep.)

This lesson is a hard one for me. I often wonder if I will ever be able to retain it without having to get out my notes and study every time a test comes up.

Often, instead of opening my mouth with wisdom a la Proverbs 31, I open my mouth with witticism. And my tongue is possessed of the law of criticism rather than of kindness.

I begin to realize that a meek and quiet spirit is formed through the choices I make. Habits of speaking wisely and kindly are developed through constantly choosing to do so. I cannot always choose how I feel about something. Wronged, unjustly accused, overlooked, undervalued, hurt, disrespected. But I can choose what I do with those feelings, how I react to the other person or to the situation, and what I say to others about it.

Choosing to be witty often fans the flames of offense, for it invites others to take part in my emotional tantrum. Wisdom lends a point of view that infuses clarity and quietness to a situation or a heart that is boiling like water for chocolate. Wisdom seeks to sooth and make peace.

Choosing to criticize, which essentially amounts to looking for faults to latch onto in others so that my own part in a misunderstanding can be excused, only strengthens my negative outlook. Now, not only am I disquieting my spirit, I am introducing strife and tension into the relationship. Choosing kindness, which has some wonderful synonyms (compassion, gentleness, grace, patience, understanding, accommodation, service, generosity, relief, succor, hospitality), produces wonderful results. Kindness (meekness) has compassion and forgives. Kindness seeks to heal and relieve suffering rather than adding to it.

Someday, I hope to be like Amy Carmichael’s cup of sweet water that cannot spill even one drop of bitter water, however sharply jolted.

For tonight, I am just glad to have escaped the coyote’s fate- caught and uncomfortable in a snare of my own making, trying to chew off my own foot to get away. Even if it took some will power.