There is Nothing More Fun

Than ridiculing the corporate process and its proponents.

Because some of us had questions about the various charts we are given with which to measure our progress with such issues as depression, pain, and skin integrity, an expert was called in to educate our struggling minds. I am all for having a plan, but I like to understand the plan that I am given and I want to know where they got the numbers. Especially that .93 person. Do we have one of those?

Our expert kept talking about numerators and denominators and something called a covariate which I think may come in chocolate with heavy cream and sugared pansies. And she kept calling someone named Brad. I don’t know about you, but the name Brad doesn’t conjure up an image of a statistical genius to me. Maybe he’s the one who makes the chocolate covariates.

As you have probably already guessed, somewhere between the QIO and the STAR target, I lost it. By the time our expert asked “If survey were to come next week, would you be ready?” I was so punchy that I thought “She sounds like an old-fashioned camp-meeting!” I fell to my knees, beat my chest, and cried out “Have mercy on me!” Because then the books will be opened and our deeds, both good and evil, will be recorded therein. Who then will be able to stand? When they start passing out the covariates, I want enough stars in my crown to earn one! *sigh* I think I would rather be judged by God than the survey team. God will forgive me, but the state never will.

On a positive note, our administrator decided that we all get lunch because there is a birthday on the management team. Way to create cohesiveness! Then someone had to ask “What do you hunger for?” and the part of me still thinking about camp meetings and days of judgment wanted to cry out “holiness!” I can just see the reactions. It would almost be worth it if I wouldn’t have to explain that I’m not Buddhist.

Plus, it’s Hawaiian day here for nursing home week and I am wearing flowers in my hair and shells around my neck. How am I supposed to take anything seriously dressed like this?